Annoying Bruce
by oh noes.The Error Buddy
Summary: While searching the web, Dick finds different ways to annoy people and, for scientific reasons, of course, tests them out on Bruce.
1. chapter 1

**Well I wanted to do something prodictive. So I thought 'Make a fanfiction!' so I did this!**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this story**

Dick was bored. Nothing good ever came out of that. So when he went online and found ways to annoy your parents. After finding several lists he smirked. This was going to be fun.

 _Next day_

"Get ready for school Dick, you haven't even gotten dressed yet!" Bruce yelled from his place in the kitchen.

"Because clothes are against my religion!" Dick replied from his room. Bruce was used to his son's antics, but not when it means getting late for an important meeting.

"I have a meeting Dick!" At that Dick froze, oops. Probably not the best moment to play his pranks. So he sighed and got ready.

 _After school_

It was dinner time. Perfect. Dick walked down the stairs while talking.

"You took forever! How does someone take that long to get ready for dinner!" Dick complained. Bruce froze, Dick didn't say anything about bringing friends over.

"Ugh, excuses excuses, just hurry up everyone's waiting just for you!" Dick argued. Bruce didn't hear anyone reply. Now he was concerned for his son. He had been acting weird all day.

"Finally! Let's go!" Dick exclaimed while running down the stairs. When Dick came down he was alone. Not even a phone was in his hands.

"Bruce I brought my friends over, they were tired of me giving them leftovers." Dick said while looking next to him.

"Uh, okay. Just hurry before your food gets cold." Bruce replied not wanting to know.

"There isn't enough plates or food! How did you forget to put 20 plates down?!" Dick screamed with a red face, trying so hard not to laugh at Bruce's face.

"Just eat your food and I'll check for brain damage from any earlier missions." Bruce replied, trying to stay calm.

"Only when you get food and plates for my friends!" Dick exclaimed. Which led Bruce to order pizza and have 20 plates with cold pizza on it.

 _Hours later_

"You don't seem to have brain damage. Maybe it was caused by magic." Bruce said from his place next to Dick.

"I'll have to take you away from missions for a while. I'll have to ask Clark to watch Gotham." Bruce thought aloud. Dick was having a conversation with a pen.

"Oh, you never ran out of ink when I needed you! You are so reliable!" Was acting crazy this easy? He might need to do this more often. Bruce sighed.

"Well let's just call it a night for now. I'll call Clark after you're in bed." Bruce said to himself. This was going to be a long week.

 **Well that's the first chapter! I hope you liked it! Please review and give me some ideas.**


	2. Chapter 2

**It's a chapter! I'm going to finish this next week, since I have unlimited time** **for a couple of days.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own anything**

Dick woke up early just so he could annoy Bruce again. He got ready for school and went to Bruce's bedroom. He walked over to Bruce and lightly shook him.

"Good morning Sunshine!" Dick said brightly. Bruce's eyes snapped opened and he groaned. This again. He got up and went into the bathroom to get ready. Dick was heading into the kitchen but bumped into walls everywhere he went.

After Bruce went to the kitchen he saw Dick messing with the light switch. Dick turned it off and on many times.

"OH! I get it now!" He exclaimed loudly leaving the light on. Then he sat down and started eating cereal. When he drank his orange juice he sipped so loud it felt like someone across the world would hear him. Then Alfred came in with Dick's backpack.

"Are you ready to go to school, Master Richard?" Alfred asked. Dick had to tell Alfred about it, since alfred would've found out anyways. Dick got up and took his backpack.

After school

Dick went into the shower after school. When Bruce was passing by he heard something that sounded suspiciously like Dick screaming "I'm drowning! I'm drowning!". So Bruce opened the door to find out that Dick was sitting at the end up the tub with the shower head on. Bruce instantly got annoyed and just left the bathroom.

1 Hour later

Bruce was sitting on his chair in the study, when Dick walked into the room.

"What can I do for you, Dick?" Bruce asked while putting his papers down. Then, Dick walked up to Bruce and plucked out a hair.

"DNA!" Dick yelled and ran out of the room. Bruce sighed. This was getting extremely annoying.

 **Well that was a lot shorter than I planned it to be. I can't do them that long since I'm running out of lists. Please review and give me ideas for the 3 chapters left.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Well I'm back with another chapter! This one should be super long I think, but let's just see where we go!**

 **Disclaimer: Sadly I don't own anything. I wish I did though**

Bruce woke up and checked the time. It was already 9:30! He jumped out of bed and ran to the bathroom. He quickly took a shower and brushed his teeth. He ran back to his room and opened his closet. He picked out the nearest suit and quickly put it on. He put on his red tie and ran out. **The suit looked like the black one in Batman: The Animated Series** He sped down the stairs to find Dick running around with a bowl of Cheerios yelling "It lowered my cholesterol!" with Alfred running trying to catch up. Bruce sighed. This was his life now.

He walked in front of Dick with a stern look on his face. Of course, Dick was used to it so he didn't get scared or start crying and begging not to get yelled at, but he took it as a warning. He went back to the dining table and started having a conversation with the cereal instead. Alfred, being an awesome actor, shot Bruce a grateful look and walked back to the kitchen. Bruce walked to the dining table to get coffee and saw Dick glaring at the cereal. Then all of a sudden, he smacked the bowl off the table.

"Richard! Pick up your bowl and clean that up! You're making me even more late!" Bruce scolded. Alfred was smirking from where he was in the kitchen. This time Dick didn't care that Bruce had a meeting. He shook his head.

"No. They deserved it." Dick replied, still glaring at the bowl. Bruce sighed again. Maybe he could take a nicer approach.

"Dick, please pick up the bowl and clean up the cereal. I'm sure that they deserved it but the floor didn't." Bruce reasoned. Dick shook his head.

"I always trip on the floor. They both deserved it." He replied. Bruce just decided to ask Alfred.

"Alfred can you pick it up?" Bruce called into the kitchen.

"Master Richard has a point, sir. They both deserved it." Alfred replied with a smirk. Bruce got up and got a broom and a dustpan. Then he got a towel for the milk and crouched down beside Dick. Then he felt weight on his back. He turned his head and saw none other than Dick.

"Please get off me." Bruce asked. He managed to keep his calm voice but he had an annoyed face.

"Only if you take me to your meeting." He replied. Bruce nodded his head. What could possibly go wrong?

 _In the car_

Bruce was on the phone with Dick beside him. He was trying to get an appointment to meet one of his clients.

"Excuse me for a moment. Richard do you have any paper I could borrow?" Bruce asked.

"What do think, paper grows on trees? Of course I don't have any paper!" Dick replied a little too loud. Bruce looked in the rear view mirror at Alfred with a pleading look. Alfred nodded and opened a compartment with a folded paper. He handed it over. Bruce mouthed a thanks and started writing down an address.

 _10 minutes later_

"Bruce, who's your favorite son?" Dick asked. Bruce looked at Dick, obviously confused.

"What do you mean? I only have one son." Bruce asked. Dick nodded but still kept on the topic.

"I know, but who's your favorite?" he asked again. He started explaining the question, but Bruce tuned him out. He really didn't care anymore. Alfred had an amused look on his face the whole time. Then the car came to a stop they were finally at Wayne Tech. Bruce quickly opened the door and speed walked to the building, not even waiting for his son. Alfred opened his door and opened the door for Dick. Dick slowly walked out and walked as slow as possible to the building.

"Please hurry, Richard." Bruce said. He stopped so that he wouldn't lose his son in the parking lot. Dick shook his head and continued walking slowly. After what felt like an hour and was probably only 10 minutes passed they were in the building. Bruce held Dick's hand and dragged him to the elevator. There were 5 other people in it who scooted over to give their boss room.

Bruce pressed the button for the floor they were going to. When he pressed there was a explosion noise. No not a real explosion noise, but a fake one. Bruce turned and saw that everyone was staring at his son. Then Dick reached in his pocket and dropped a pen. A couple of seconds later a woman picked it up to give it to him.

"That mine!" Dick exclaimed snatching the pen from the lady. She had a shocked expression on her face and walked back. The elevator doors opened and 2 men walked out. 3 people came in. One lady and 2 men.

"Group hug!" Dick exclaimed. 3 people shook their heads while the other 3 just said no. Bruce sighed.

"As the adopted son of Bruce Wayne, I command you to, or otherwise lose your jobs!" Dick said. Everyone rushed to hug him. Bruce just went to one of the walls and banged his head against it. Everyone went back to their spots in the elevator again and stood there. The doors opened and the rest of the people who were in the elevator first left. 2 new people came in. Now counting Bruce and Dick, there were 7 people. Thank goodness the elevator was huge.

"You may be wondering why I called you here!" Dick exclaimed loudly. The passengers shook their heads no.

"Well you should be, there's a total of 7 people! Use another elevator." Dick said. Everyone looked at Bruce for help but he was still banging his head against the wall. The the elevator doors opened. 4 of the people left. Now there was a total of 3 people. All of a sudden Dick scooted closer to one of the men and sniffed him. The man gave him a look as if he had 2 heads but Dick was already back in his spot. Then, finally, the doors opened and everyone filed out. Bruce speed walked to the room in which the meeting was being held. Before he entered he grabbed Dick by the wrist and held it tightly.

"You will not do anything that will result in the meeting ending badly. Understand." Bruce loudly whispered. Dick nodded. Bruce plastered a fake smile and entered the room. He sat down in his seat and everyone began talking simultaneously.

 _15 minutes later_

Dick took out a little Kleenex packet out of his pocket and took one tissue out. He put the rest back and blew his nose. He then tapped on the lap of the woman next to him. She looked down at him.

"You wanna see?" He asked, gesturing to the tissue. She tried to keep a polite face and not looked disgusted but it was in the middle. She shook her head and stared back at what was going on.

 _After the meeting, in the car_

"Thank you for not interrupting the meeting." Bruce said. Dick was on his phone texting Wally while Bruce was trying to thank him.

"What?" Dick asked. He looked up from his phone. Bruce sighed for what felt like the tenth time that day.

"Nothing." Bruce replied. Dick shrugged and went back to typing in his reply to the text.

 **W is Wally and R is Richard**

W: So how did it go?

R: Pretty sure Bruce has a concussion from banging his head on the wall

W: I wish I was there to see that. Can you tell me when you come back to the mountain?

R: Of course!

W: Thanks, Dude

R: Shoot, Bruce is trying to have a conversation! Bye!

W: Bye!

 **So Wally's in on the whole thing! Only 3 people know about the trick. Alfred, Wally, and Barbara. Also just a random thing to add, Barbara only knows because she told dick that she would tell Bruce that he's looking for places to keep and elephant. Anyways, please review and give me some ideas! I'm running out of lists!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Okay this takes place during the night of the meeting in chapter 3. This isn't THAT funny, but you might have a small smile. Also, I was listening to music while writing this so I mentioned an amazing song by Twenty One Pilots that you should listen to. It doesn't have cuss words and he's a mad fast rapper with an awesome drummer. If you still don't know who they are, they sang Stressed Out, Ride, Tear In My Heart, and Heathens. Anyways, I'm done ranting about how amazing Twenty One Pilots are.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own anything in here**

Bruce was in the Batcave looking at a new case. There were many robberies at the Gotham and Bludhaven jewelry stores. The thief only stole diamonds and emeralds though. Bruce was zoned out, his focus on the giant screen. Then it hit him. Literally. Something hit him in the head right when he figured out who was stealing from the stores. Bruce turned around and saw his son, playing with marbles.

"Please stop playing with the marbles, Dick." Bruce said. He turned around just to have another marble hit him again. On his neck this time. Bruce sighed.

"Dick please stop before I ground you from being Robin for a week." Dick stopped. Bruce turned around. He glanced at Dick, who was currently running around in circles while rapping Heavydirtysoul by Twenty One Pilots. **I don't know how he rapped Heavydirtysoul so loudly while running in circles, but he did.** Bruce got out of his seat and went to where his son was running. He picked him up and walked to the stairs. He sped up the stairs, still carrying the singing bird over his shoulder. Once he was up the stairs and in the manor he walked over to the kitchen where Alfred was washing the dishes.

"Alfred help." Bruce said. He swung the squirming boy off his shoulder and placed him in front of his butler. Alfred nodded and stopped. Dick grabbed Alfred's hand and went closer to him, as if Bruce was scary and he needed comforting.

"I'm going to go to sleep early today, Alfred." Bruce called over his shoulder. Alfred nodded. He knew Bruce couldn't see him but he didn't care. Dick let go of Alfred's hand and ran to the Batcave. He was going to attempt drive the Batmobile. Sure he knew how to drive, but the Batmobile had amazing speed and drove way more smooth. It had more buttons that activated weapons that were probably more deadly than the Trinity. (Bats, Supes, and WW.)

Dick quickly put on his Robin costume and thought about what he was about to do. He was going to get a century's worth of grounding, but it was worth it to see the look on Bruce's face. He opened the top if the car and jumped in. He was too short to reach the pedals but he could easily stretch his feet.

"Okay. Where should I go first?" He muttered to himself. He pressed the same button he saw his mentor press all the time to open the waterfall. It split open and he started driving. "Maybe Starbucks." He said.

The car did drive a lot more faster than he expected. He kept jumping lanes and running red lights. Once he saw the Starbucks he tried his best to go in the line at the drive thru. He looked at the menu for a minute and instantly knew what to order.

"Hello. Welcome to Starbucks, what would you like to order?" The lady asked. She sounded young. Maybe in her twenties.

"Hi! I would like a Double Chocolaty Chip Frappuccino and a Tomato Mozzarella Panini." He replied. **This is what I always get at Starbucks!**

"Would you like the panini warmed up?" The lady asked.

"Yep." He replied. He opened one of the compartments to get out cash. He counted the bills and nodded to himself.

"So a Double Chocolaty Chip Frap and a Tomato Mozzarella Panini. Is that all?" The lady asked. Dick nodded.

"Totally." He replied.

"Okay, your total is $11.46. Please move up to the next window." The woman said. Dick rolled the windows up and drove up. He opened the window again. The lady was typing on the computer. The window opened and she looked up. Her hazel eyes widened. She moved a strand of her dirty blond hair out of her face with her light beige hand.

"Y-you-your foo-food is al-almost finished." She stuttered. Robin smirked. She grabbed the grande sized drink and stuffed it in the hero's hand. After a minute she came back with the panini. She handed it over and awkwardly waved.

"Ha-have a ni-nice day!" She said. Robin closed the window and bursted out laughing. Her face was priceless. He sipped his drink. Now back to the cave.

 _15 minutes later_

Dick quietly crept out the cave. He made sure to destroy any evidence. Thankfully Bruce was asleep. Alfred was dusting when he saw Dick slowly walking.

"You must get ready for bed, Master Richard. Only 2 days left." Dick nodded and ran up the stairs to his room. The next day should be fun.

 _The next day_

Bruce woke up around 6:00 am and climbed out of bed. He picked out the suit he was going to wear and placed it on his bed. He walked to the bathroom and took a short shower. He brushed his teeth and combed his hair afterwards. Then he put on his suit and put on his shoes. He walked down the stairs while fixing his tie. Thankfully, Dick wasn't awake yet, so he could enjoy his morning in peace.

He walked over to the dining table and sat down at his usual spot. Alfred rushed over with a stack of pancakes and a mug of black coffee. He placed the food down in front of Bruce and went back in the kitchen. He came back with a small bowl of fruit and the newspaper. He set the fruit down on the opposite side of the coffee and gave the paper to his master.

"Thank you, Alfred." Bruce said. He started cutting his pancakes and put the hot syrup on them. Alfred smiled.

"My pleasure, Master Bruce." He replied. He went to the kitchen to continue getting breakfast for Dick ready. Bruce opened the newspaper article to find a picture of what looked like the Batmobile at Starbucks. In the picture it showed Robin's head sticking out while he grabbed a little white paper bag. Above it it read, 'Batman and Robin's late night snack run'. Bruce scoffed. It wasn't even that catchy. You won't see someone make that into a song.

He was going to talk to Dick about this.

 **Okay, I found like, 2 more lists. They should help do more than 2 chapters. I can do 10 maybe? Anyways, I still need ideas since I put multiple tricks in a chapter. I also want to do another story where Artemis works for the League of Shadows as** **Tigress** **and Robin is a Talon for The Court of Owls since he's the Gray Son of Gotham. The ships in there will be Chalant, one sided Dibs, and Spitfire. If you guys think that adding Traught is a good idea, then I will. Otherwise it won't be a Traught story since I don't ship it THAT much. And I don't like Wally and Zatanna as a couple, so none of that. Anyways, I hope you liked this chapter and review.**


	5. Chapter 5

**I am so sorry! I haven't updated in like, five years! I am a terrible person. But, I did update two of my other stories recently so how can you stay mad?**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own anything**

Bruce was driving to meet a client at a restaurant and with Alfred in England taking care of his sick sister, he had to take Richard with him.

10 minutes later

He was settled at a booth with Richard. The client hadn't shown up yet and Bruce needed to use the bathroom.

"Richard, if the client comes, you will tell them that I will come in a moment. If you tell them otherwise, you will be grounded." Bruce said sternly.

"Am I not already grounded? I'm not aloud to leave the house unless you say so and I can't go anywhere or see my friends." Richard replied. Bruce thought about it but shook it off.

5 minutes later

A woman with wavy chocolate brown hair, a silk pastel pink top, a business jacket, and black slacks sat down across from Richard. She had hazel eyes and really tall black high heels.

"Hello, you must be Richard. I'm Ellen, your father's client." She said in a kind voice. She sounded and acted like those really motherly figures who hated when a male tried to make a move on them. She looked like she had a lot of patience and she really wouldn't get annoyed by kids, more feel bad for them, continue a conversation, or laugh. This was too easy.

"Bruce'll be back in a minute." He said.

"Do you mind me asking where he his?" She asked. Oh, this was perfect.

"I don't really know. But, it probably has to do with the glue sniffing addictions." He replied.

"The glue sniffing addictions?" She asked.

"Oh yeah, it's weird. He's weird. That's probably what's going on." He said. She knitted her eyebrows and nodded.

"Oh, okay. Well, I guess we're all different. Some more than others." She said. She sighed. Richard kinda felt bad for her. She was a good person. Like if Catwoman tried to be nicer or she was being motherly. He's seen both side and could confirm research.

Then Bruce came back. He plastered a smile and shook Ellen's hand.

"Sorry I took so long. I'm sure you would understand." He said.

"Not at all, but it's fine." Ellen replied. Bruce thought to question her about it but decided against it.

"Welcome back, champ!" Richard said. Bruce looked at Richard confused.

"What?" He asked.

"It's 'What, coach?', Tiger!" He replied. Bruce was about to ask but shook his head.

10 minutes later

Richard was getting bored. He was still waiting for Bruce to finish talking.

"So, as you can see, it will take awhile." Bruce said.

"So as you can see it will take awhile?" Richard asked. Bruce spared a quick glare and continued.

"But, we will try our best."

"But we will try our best?"

"We need it now." Ellen replied. She paid no attention to Richard. He could tell she hated Bruce and prefered to yell at him instead. She probably favoured Richard anyways.

"It will be hard." Bruce said.

"It will be hard?"

"I don't care." Ellen said. "We need it. We can just get another supplier, if you're too busy. We make up a lot of your money so it'll be hard on you."

"No, no, no, there's no need for that." Bruce reassured.

"No, no, no, there's no need for that?" Richard asked. Bruce sighed.

"Be. Quiet." He growled. Richard shut up. It was getting boring anyways.

"I'm gonna go take a walk." Richard declared. He got up and left.

He started walking around. He saw a couple eating steak and decided it was time. He walked over to them.

"Can I have your parsley?" He asked. They shook their head. He shrugged and walked to a person typing on their phone.

"Can I have your parsley?" He asked. The person didn't even look up. Richard walked outside.

"This is so boring!" He said to himself. He peeked in the window to see that Bruce was gone again. He ran back in and sat down.

"Hi." He said. Ellen looked up and smiled.

"Hello. Do you know your father is an annoying brat?" She asked. He nodded.

"Yeah, in accordance to the prophecy." He said. She smiled a little bigger.

"Can you tell him I gave him two more weeks?" She asked. Richard nodded. He knew Bruce was screwed.

"I"ll tell Bruce he's screwed." He said.

"You can just tell him that he has two more weeks." She said and left.

2 minutes later

Bruce came back to see Richard slouching in his chair and reading some weird new formula for math.

"Where's Ellen?" He asked.

"You're screwed." Richard said. Bruce groaned.

"How many days?"

"Fourteen." Richard replied.

"Let's just go home." Bruce said.

"Good idea, champ."

 **Bud dum dum! I finished the chapter! I plan to do the other chapters and then yea. So, I made a poll on what story you wanna see next so please vote on that!**


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